Micros

My micros are short-form posts. They usually follow PESOS. You can expect social media style notes, and occasionally poetry, lyrics, and short commentaries.

I’m unsure what I did to piss them off, but I just wanted to give a shout-out to the delinquent who sent me ‘Fuck You’ without further elaboration via every single public communication channel of mine they could find.

Post about how bad accessibility overlays are on LinkedIn Get message notification ‘I saw your recent post, but our overlay is different. Check it out!’

🫥

Also, pro tip, if you’re trying to shill your overlay and prove that you’re different, don’t use the term ‘handicapped’.

Even pro-er tip: Just stop with the accessibility overlays. There is something seriously wrong with you if you think exploiting or jeopardising people with disabilities is an opportunity to make a quick buck.

- Chinese Pronunciation Cheat Sheet

Chinese pronunciations are not intuitive for English speakers. The Chinese Phonetic Alphabet, also known as Hanyu Pinyin or just pīnyīn, is a romanised version of Chinese that uses Latin letters in ways that don’t match typical English usage.

This cheat sheet is not comprehensive but does cover the basics and many common pitfalls.

Consonants

The primary hurdle is the distinction between the J, Q, X sounds (tongue forward/down) and the Zh, Ch, Sh sounds (tongue curled back).

Pinyin Sounds Like… Examples / Notes
C Ts Like the end of ‘cats’.
Z Dz Like the end of ‘suds’.
J Jee Like ‘edge’.
Q Chee A sharp, aspirated ‘ch’ .
X Shee A soft ‘sh’ with the tongue behind the lower teeth.
Zh J Tongue curled back, like the ‘j’ in ‘judge’.
Ch Ch Tongue curled back, like ‘church’.
Sh Sh Tongue curled back, like ‘shore’.
R R / Zh Not a rolled ‘r’. Buzzy, like the ‘s’ in ‘pleasure’.

Vowels & Combinations

Pinyin vowels often change their sound based on the consonants they follow.

Pinyin Sounds Like… Examples / Notes
-i (after zh, ch, sh, r, z, c, s) (Buzzing) A ‘hollow’ vowel; a buzzy extension of the consonant.
-i (after others) Ee Like ‘see’.
e Uh Like the ‘u’ in ‘but’ or the ‘a’ in ‘about’.
-ou Oh Like ‘no’ or ‘tone’.
-ao Ow Like ‘how’ or ‘now’.
-ian Ee-en Often mispronounced, but is closer to ‘yen’.
(Pursed Ee) Make an ‘ee’ sound while rounding your lips into a tight ‘O’.

Common Pitfalls

  • The Hidden ‘ü’: When the ü sound follows J, Q, X, or Y, the umlaut is dropped. Even if written as Ju, it is pronounced like .
  • The ‘ui’ Shortcut: Pinyin -ui is shorthand for -uei. Therefore, Hui sounds more like ‘Hway’ than ‘Hoo-ee’.
  • Unvoiced Consonants: In Pinyin, B, D, and G are ‘unvoiced’. This means B sounds closer to a soft English P, and D sounds closer to a soft English T.

The Four Tones

  1. First (mā): High and level (like a sustained singing note).
  2. Second (má): Rising (like a question: ‘What?’).
  3. Third (mǎ): Low and dipping (like a slow, hesitant ‘Well…’).
  4. Fourth (mà): Sharp and falling (like a firm command: ‘Stop!’).

‘You need to understand that Sam can never be trusted. He is a sociopath. He would do anything.’
— Aaron Swartz, who was federally charged while trying to make information free, talking about Sam Altman, who would go on to co-found the company OpenAI, which harvests information en masse with no repercussions.

2005 group photo of Y Combinator's first batch. Sam Altman stands beside Aaron Swartz to the centre-right of the photo. Many other people are also present in the photo.

Samsung launched a browser for Windows. Samsung Internet is spreading. I repeat, Samsung Internet is spreading.

I fear that this may be the end of civilisation as we know it. The collapse of technology and return to the stone age.

- Intl.DateTimeFormat Values

Member of the AI resistance: ‘Halt! List every valid value for timeZoneName! Recite them! List them now!’

Me: ‘I— I don’t know. There is short and long. I think offset is somewhere in there?’

Member of the AI resistance moving on to screen another person: ‘This one’s clear. They’re human.’

Properties Values Examples (en-AU)
weekday long
short
narrow
Wednesday
Wed
W
era long
short
narrow
Anno Domini
AD
A
year numeric
2-digit
2026
26
month long
short
narrow
numeric
2-digit
April
Apr
A
4
04
day numeric
2-digit
8
08
dayPeriod long
short
narrow
noon
noon
n
(all values often return the same result for other times)
hour numeric
2-digit
8
08
minute numeric
2-digit
9
09
second numeric
2-digit
5
05
fractionalSecondDigits 1
2
3
3
34
342
timeZoneName long
short
longOffset
shortOffset
longGeneric
shortGeneric
Coordinated Universal Time
UTC
GMT+00:00
GMT+0
Greenwich Mean Time
GMT

MDN page for the constructor: https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/JavaScript/Reference/Global_Objects/Intl/DateTimeFormat/DateTimeFormat

- Bloons Tower Defence 6 Round Notes

Round Threat
24 First Camo
28 First Lead
40 First MOAB
59 First Camo Leads
60 First BFB
63 Many Ceramics
76 Many Regrow Ceramics
78 BFB and many Rainbows, Ceramics, Camo Ceramics, and Purples
80 First ZOMG
90 First DDTs and many Camo Regrow Fortified Leads
95 Many DDTs, Fortified MOABs, Camo Regrow Purples, and Camo Regrow Fortified Leads
98 Many ZOMGs and Fortified BFBs
99 Many MOABs and Camo Fortified DDTs
100 BAD

Great reference: https://topper64.co.uk/nk/btd6/rounds/regular

- Minecraft Mining Notes

1.14+ can do crawl mining. Otherwise, standard strip mining.

Pre-1.17 Ore Distribution:

Ore Biome Most Found Common Up To Rare On Layers None At/Above
Coal Any 5-52 124 125-127 128
Iron Any 5-54 61 62-63 64
Gold (Any) Any 5-29 29 31-33 34
Gold (Badlands) Badlands 5-29 76 77-79 80
Redstone Any 5-12 12 13-15 16
Lapis Lazuli Any 13-17 23 31-33 34
Diamond Any 5-12 12 13-15 16
Emerald Mountains 5-29 29 30-32 33
Pre 1.17 ore distribution. Credit: Minecraft Wiki

Pre beta 1.6, ores generate less in north/east quadrants compared to south/west. In beta 1.8, the Y-level range of each ore was lowered by 4.

Post-1.18 Ore Distribution:

Ore Biome Total Range Peak Layer No Spawn At
Coal Any 0 to 320 45 -64 to -1
Copper Any (Dripstone caves for larger veins) -16 to 112 43 -64 to -17; 113+
Iron Any -64 to 72 & 80 to 320 14 73 to 79
Gold (Normal) Any -64 to 32 -18 33+
Gold (Badlands) Badlands -64 to 256 32 to 256 257+
Redstone Any -64 to 16 -59 16+
Lapis Lazuli Any -64 to 64 -2 65+
Diamond Any -64 to 16 -59 16+
Emerald Mountains/Hills -16 to 320 85 -64 to -17
Post 1.18 ore distribution. Credit: Minecraft Wiki

If a diamond vein is exposed to air there is a 50% chance it won’t generate.

Nether Ore Distribution:

Ore Most Found Commonly Up To Rare on Layers None At/Above
Quartz 114 120 123–125 128
Gold 114 95 96–116 117
Ancient Debris 15–16 23 22–119 120
Nether ore distribution. Credit: Minecraft Wiki

It is an open secret in Australia that Kmart sells a coffee grinder perfect for grinding bud, and the reviews from stoners on the Kmart website are appropriately fantastic.

(In store, this grinder is one of the few products with an anti-theft tag strapped to it.)

5-star review from Jessica W. 'Best whizzer ever. We all know what these are used for and they work great'. Quality excellent. Value excellent. 81 people find the review helpful.

5-star review from Reece O. 'Grinded my weed to the most perfect consistency. Has done for years and will do for many years to come thank you'. 177 people find the review helpful.

631,152,000 seconds, 10,519,200 minutes, 175,320 hours, 7,305 days, 1,043 weeks (and 4 days), 240 months, 20 years.

Looking forward to many more!

Me, draped over a blue sofa armchair placed in the middle of the Australian bush. The image is aggressively dithered.

Working on an article about accessibility overlays. Holy shit, fuck these companies and their deceit. I’m trawling through the waist-deep sludge that is their websites, and everything has this film of slime over it.

I knew they were bad, but I’d never looked that deeply into their marketing. Yuck.

I’m not usually this incensed, but accessibility overlay companies make my blood boil. How low do you have to be to go out of your way to exploit people with disabilities? Not only that, but to sabotage attempts to improve digital accessibility for all. Bottom-dwelling scabs.

The variety of thoughts that I find wandering my mind on a Monday night could kill if administered in tablet form.

I present to you a fish smoking a cigarette underwater.

Adobe is trying to revoke my Photoshop licence. They claim ‘misuse’ and ‘abuse of software’ and ‘Stop with these stupid things you keep making. They aren’t even funny’ and ‘you’re a dweeb’. I’m going on the run. They shan’t stop me.

A fish, underwater, smoking a cigarette. There is smoke rising through the water.

- Ode to Gaolbreaking

Gaolbreaking for iOS devices is winding down. Alas, the art is dead. Here lies a great empire.

I remember the buzz online when unc0ver released. I remember the breakthrough that was checkra1n. I was on Windows 7 at the time, and it was one of my first times in a terminal. It felt exciting. I was a 1337 h4xØr pwning my devices.

It was hackery like gaolbreaking that got me into the more technical aspects of computer use. I remember spending long hours experimenting with tweaks and honing my troubleshooting abilities.

Unfortunately, the scene isn’t as vibrant as it once was. Apple has placed a focus on security, meaning fewer devices and releases are exploitable, and the drive to gaolbreak has become weaker. Android became a more polished experience as well.

Many of the features people once gaolbroke their devices for are now native parts of iOS. No longer do you need a tweak for dark mode or to place icons where you want on your screen. Less low-hanging tweak fodder means that ones which are released never see the same adoption and thus aren’t as financially viable.

The world changes a lot, the tech world even more so – if there even is such a thing as a distinct ‘tech world’ in this ever more dystopian-looking landscape. Titans of the scene have moved on, and the old empire is crumbling.

Graph showing data from the start of 2007 to March 2026.Fast growth to a spike in 2010 and a peak in 2012, with a slow decline from 2013 to 2020, after which it flattens.
Google Trends interest over time for the topic ‘iOS jailbreaking’.

Gaolbreaking today dredges up the old. Link rot and tweaks lost to time. The old repositories are gone, and the Cydia store is closed. So very many tweaks and apps are stuck in limbo, and there is little incentive to fix the situation.

There are still new tweaks and releases, but the scene is small. I miss the old days of boundary pushing and the energy surrounding it.

It was year 4 of primary school, and my class had just returned from either recess or lunch. As we formed a line outside the class, waiting to be let inside, Edvard Grieg’s In The Hall Of The Mountain King began blaring at an extreme volume through the wall. Speculating amongst ourselves as to what was going on, our teacher opened the classroom door, stepped through it, and beckoned us inside with a complete poker face.

Stepping inside, we were all shocked. The song blared from the interactive whiteboard’s speakers, and the room was in shambles. Tables were toppled, chairs were strewn around, and bits of paper waste littered every surface.

Our teacher remained vague and unspecific as our nine-and-ten-year-old minds attempted to figure out what had gone on. Had someone broken in? Had the teacher gone insane? Looking around, surveying the carnage (which seemed much more destructive than it really was), we found envelopes strewn around.

This was the setup for a creative writing exercise. I don’t recall what I wrote – it was almost certainly atrocious given my age – but this exercise has really stuck with me. It was one of the first times I was truly exposed to the joys of writing.

Your honour, I understand that I completely broke their software, but they simply shouldn’t have built it like that. Of course I went and fiddled with it. I’m pretty sure the attractive nuisance doctrine comes into play.

I have this one Next.js project I haven’t touched in a few years, and every few weeks I get an email from GitHub with a new security advisory for it.

One thing I love about the web is that you can publish stuff and people will see it. Even without publicising it, people still somehow discover stuff you’ve made. Magical.

I’ve hit the point in the research of an article that I’ll have to journey for dozens of hours to conduct interviews and visit various small towns, museums, monuments, libraries, and state archives to get any further.

A car is hurtling towards a crowd. The majority of people seem not to care about the car. They don’t see the danger or think they’ll be alright anyway. Some understand the danger, so are scrambling to get out of the way and trying to convince others to do the same. Some people think the car barrelling towards them is a good thing.

My LinkedIn feed is currently predominantly people announcing they’ve been laid off in the name of AI and are now looking for work. This isn’t the sign of a healthy industry.

I’ve had a simultaneously personally tough and very busy spell. I’m not free of it yet, but I’m hoping to pick things back up this week and put plans back into action.

A heaviness. As heavy as heavy comes. A washing of tingles drips from my hair and slides down my body.

There is nothing to do but wait and see. The wandering eyes point at me but look through me, only occasionally forming the jewels of the face I knew.

We’re watching the last of the moments and hearing the last of the breaths, spluttered from a fluid lung. The time has come, as it often does. Never wanted, but always expected. Always expected, and in this case expressed with an uncomfortable welcome.

It isn’t fair for the dead to live, but we’ve grown effective at making it happen. Only somewhat does the widow accept, for she wishes not to entertain it.

‘It’s not fair’ is the cry that echoes. The moon is waning now, and colour drains to the lowest of the skin.

Goodbye to you, and thank you.