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Always lovely when installation and configuration instructions are stored in a nicely formatted Microsoft Write (.wri) file rather than just plain text.

Also shout out to Mosaic for the lovely install instructions.

‘Look, everything is ruined and I’ve died on you (again). Y’know what, though? If you press any key we’ll YOLO it. We’ll see how it goes. In fact, there is a pretty decent chance things might work again. Though you probably shouldn’t put that floppy disc in again. I think that is what cooked us.’

While Microsoft establishes more data centres, my Windows install and Xbox console are pestering me in an attempt to persuade me to configure them to use less power.

Thanks, Microsoft. Glad you care so much.

Unwelcome memories of setting up Windows 10 in bulk and Cortana vomiting its spiel from every single computer simultaneously.

Hi there! I’m Cortana, and I’m here to help. A little sign-in here, a touch of Wi-Fi there, and we’ll have your PC ready for all you plan to do. Use your voice or…

Samsung launched a browser for Windows. Samsung Internet is spreading. I repeat, Samsung Internet is spreading.

I fear that this may be the end of civilisation as we know it. The collapse of technology and return to the stone age.

Which one of you has been visiting my website with a Windows Phone?

Hey, err, web devs on Windows. How do you guys test for WebKit?

As far as I can see, not a single native Windows WebKit browser exists…

The passion with which I hate dealing with Windows cannot be described.

I’ve had more fun grazing my knee.