An Analysis of That's How I Beat Shaq

Teen pop sensation Aaron Carter’s 2000 song “That’s How I Beat Shaq” from the album Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) is nothing short of a musical masterpiece and quite possibly one of the most important pieces of music ever burnt to disc. It lyrically chronicles Aaron Carter’s astounding triumph over the titular Shaquille O’Neal in a one verses one game of basketball.

This post aims to provide the most in-depth analysis of the song, its music video, and other associated factors published on the internet. I have spent a non-negligible amount of time researching and learning the rules and motions of basketball to provide a complete and comprehensive breakdown.

For complete clarity, no part of this post has been written by large language models, and it is all the gurgitated output of my evidently warped and distorted mind. This article is provided “as is”, without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to the warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose and noninfringement. In no event shall the author be liable for any claim, damages or other liability, whether in an action of contract, tort or otherwise, arising from, out of or in connection with this article or the use or other dealings of this horrific output. I have no remorse and only minor regret.

Production

The 10th song and 4th single from Aaron Carter’s second album, Aaron’s Party (Come Get It), That’s How I Beat Shaq, was released by the label Jive Records. It was produced by Brian Kieralf and Josh Schwartz for KNS Productions and Larry “Rock” Campbell for Zomba Recording Corporation. It was recorded by Kieralf and Schwartz at The Dojo, Jackson, New Jersey, and Battery Studios, New York City.

Eric Schlotzer served as the assistant recording engineer, and the song was mixed by Rich Travali at Battery Studios, with Charles McCroey serving as assistant mix engineer.

The music video was made available on both VHS and DVD, and the album was later certified 3× platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America with sales of over 3 million. The next year Aaron’s third album, “Oh Aaron”, would be released.

Analysis

This is a complete and detailed breakdown of both the song itself and its associated music video. I will advise that you listen to the song and watch the video in full to avoid spoilers, although it is worth noting that, like comparable works such as Romeo and Juliet or Halo Reach, the outcome is already divulged at the start – in the title in this case.

And it goes, and it goes
And it goes a little something like this

This lyric sets up the song as a story being told. The video features Aaron riding in timelapse through a park on a scooter while a dog catches a Frisbee in its mouth. This is particularly notable given that Aaron is riding across grass on his scooter, which is no easy feat.

Hit It!
Aaron’s in the house
Come on
Get up get up
I wanna make it bounce
Here we go
Aaron’s in the house
Get up get up
Aaron’s in the house

This is where we first get a proper look at Aaron’s fans. They seem remarkably old considering Aaron’s age of around 13 at the time. They also seem to have been prepared for something to happen given that they are gathered, have signage, and five of them have each painted a letter on their chest so that together they spell out his name.

At the conclusion of this verse, the video employs a still image of Aaron’s head to achieve a horizontal wipe transition into the next section of the music video.

Yo guys, check it out
Guess what happened to me
(Another crazy story, come on AC)
I was hanging at the court
Just playing some ball
Working on my game
(Yeah, we heard it all)
I heard the fans screaming
I thought it was for me

The girl saying, “Another crazy story, come on AC,” indicates that Aaron is known for fabricating stories or over-exaggerating. Carter’s evident narcissistic tendencies are manifested in his lyrical self-positioning here, as his mind immediately jumps to thinking people are screaming about him.

But then I saw a shadow
It was 12 foot 3
It was Shaquile O’Neal

Shaquille O’Neal is 216cm tall, a far cry from the 373cm indicated by Aaron’s assessment. Though, given Aaron’s short stature, it would make sense for him to exaggerate Shaq’s height. Of course, this also acts to make his eventual success seem more impressive.

(What? What did he say?)
(How ‘bout some one-on-one, do you wanna play?)
I told him why not, I got some time
But when I beat you real bad
Try not to cry

This verse indicates that Aaron is flippant about Shaq, potentially as he has already met Shaq before while his brother was recording demos at Shaq’s house. It isn’t clear if this song and video take place in a real-life continuity, though.

(Please Aaron, are you for real?)
(One-on-one with Shaquile O’Neal?)
Yeah, 34 Centre from the L.A. Lakers

At the time of the song’s release, Shaq was playing under jersey number 34 in the Los Angeles Lakers, hence this lyric. Over his career, he actually played more time overall under other teams with the jersey number 32.

(You must’ve been nervous)
I knew I could take him
Stared’ at Shaq, psyche him out
I said O’Neal, you’re in my house now

This is the beginning of Aaron’s employment of psychological intimidation and manipulation tactics towards Shaq, which are followed up throughout the song via Aaron’s quips and his all-important game-winning shoelace trickery.

Start the game the whistle blows
Pay attention close ‘cause the story goes…

These lyrics act to remind the listener that this song is presented as a story, and thus that some details might be hyperbole.

[CHORUS]
It’s like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I’m telling you the facts
Cuz that’s how I beat Shaq [X2]

Despite the fact that I previously mentioned that this is being told as a story and implied that Aaron might be an unreliable narrator prone to exaggeration, he explicitly states here that he swears that he is stating fact, so I’m inclined to believe him. This chorus indicates Aaron is seeing great success, despite what one might expect from a teenager taking on an incredibly successful and tall professional basketball player.

So check it out
I thought I had the lead
But then he started scoring mad points on me
I was scorin’ the bricks
Was he hitting those shots?
I knew that there was a way that I could make it stop

Despite the success indicated in the previous verse, the score quickly turns against Aaron. It is quite possible that Shaq was merely toying with Aaron at the beginning, much like apex predators will toy with their prey before finally killing it.

At this point in the video, we are graced by an absolutely wonderful shot in which the camera does a rotation around Shaq’s head before he snaps his vision directly down the camera and at the viewer. This could be interpreted as showing that Shaq is locked in and playing to win.

I had a plan, that I could change the pace
I said, Yo Shaq you didn’t tie your shoelace
He looked down, I stole the ball

Aaron employs psychological tactics to distract Shaq from the game at play and deceptively directs his attention to his shoelaces by lying about them being untied, which permits him to acquire the ball. We are also treated to another shot of Shaq in which his jowls and lips flobber around in slow motion as he turns his head.

I’m taking him to school now, watch me all
A 3-pointer, nothing but net

Due to Shaq’s size, it would be impractical for Aaron to attempt a layup, jump shot, slam dunk, etc, so he plays to his strengths by performing a 3-point field goal which arcs over Shaq and negates his size advantage. Nothing but net indicates that the shot was successful, as evidenced by the video.

Come on Shaq, had enough yet?
Down by two, I’m catching up
I guess your getting nervous
Cuz you already lost

At this point in the song, Aaron is catching up swiftly on Shaq’s score, requiring only two more points to match his. Aaron is taunting Shaq with this fact with his lyrics.

It is also at this point in the video that Aaron blatantly takes several with the ball while evading Shaq without dribbling. Despite this, it does not seem that he receives a travelling violation, which could indicate bias from the adjudicators in favour of Aaron – potentially because he is still perceived as the underdog.

[CHORUS]

Dunk after dunk
Jam after jam
Cheerleaders are cheering
Aaron’s the man
[X2]

Aaron continues on with his success and makes several successful dunks. As mentioned previously, Shaq’s height posed a disadvantage to Aaron’s success, but apparently this is no longer a limiting factor for Aaron, who is now consistently managing to not only reach the hoop but also achieve consistent slam dunks. This implies Aaron’s vertical is rather impressive, though we never see him accomplish a dunk in motion.

Announcers were shocked
Couldn’t believe it was real
(I can’t believe a kid just stuffed O’Neal)
One more second, was all that remained
I put the ball up
I put him in shame
I must admit that it sounds real crazy
but the ball went in
Then he cried like a baby
Sorry Shaq, I should’ve let you win
You’re good too
And we can still be friends

The announcers at this point are extremely surprised by Aaron’s success. It is worth questioning why there are announcers present at all. Given this is a simple basketball game, it seems extremely questionable that there would be professional announcers wearing suits at a table with broadcast microphones. This could be interpreted as a tip-off that not all is as it would appear.

The fans went nuts
They put me on their shoulders
Then I heard a voice
And it sounded like my mother’s

While the fans are going ballistic, Aaron states that he hears the voice of his mother. While there have been several inconsistencies and odd ongoings throughout the song and video, this is the first explicit indication that not all is as it seems. It is common for dreams to end on extreme highs or lows, which aligns with the event of Aaron winning his match and being celebrated by his fans.

(Get up for school, you’re gonna be late!)
Ma, can’t you see that I’m playing the game?
(How you could be playing if you’re still in bed?)
(Are you gettin’ sick, did you hit your head?)
Aw, man it was all a dream
I guess that kinda thing could never happen to me

The video at this point transitions from the basketball court to Aaron’s bedroom, which is adorned with various basketball memorabilia. In the music video, the mother’s lines here are lip-synced with expert accuracy.

If it was a dream and it wasn’t real
How’d I get a jersey with the name O’Neal?
Woah…

Where did the jersey come from? One possible interpretation is that the song did all take place in a dream and he simply already owned the jersey, perhaps having bought it or acquired it from Shaq directly. Seeing it as he fell asleep could have influenced his dreamscape.

It is also possible that it manifested in physical reality as a result of his dream, much like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang proceeded to fly at the end of the 1968 film despite most of the film’s phantasmagorical events taking place in a story.

The scene following the bedroom revelation is a return to the chorus and once again shows Aaron dancing around the basketball court with cheerleaders, which further brings into question the reality of the video’s events. If it truly is a dream, then why does the video return to Aaron on the basketball court after the scene in his bedroom? Is it simply Aaron remembering key facts from his dream, or did the entire thing actually happen after all?

Several inconsistencies challenge a literal interpretation. It is implied during Shaq’s introduction that their meeting is by chance, so it seems odd that Aaron inexplicably has so many fans already present in the stands. It is even more conspicuous when you consider how prepared they were with signage. There also seems to be a fully choreographed dance with cheerleaders. This could be non-diegetic given it is only visually presented in cutaways, but it is directly referenced in the lyrics which would indicate it does have some direct grounding.

In an interview with E! News, Shaq revealed that the song is loosely based on reality. Aaron would frequently come over while his brother Nick, who was in the Backstreet Boys, was recording demos at Shaq’s house. During these visits, Shaq would play basketball with Aaron, who actually once beat him in a game of HORSE. The song clearly exaggerates this genuine interaction.

It isn’t entirely clear if this song is presented as embellished fact, a completely fabricated story, or if it is entirely the output of Aaron’s dream state. Whichever it is has implications on how it should be interpreted.

Is this simply Aaron embellishing details in his storytelling? Is it the illogical fabric of a dream? Or perhaps something in between fantasy and reality? I don’t have answers to these questions. The ambiguity is part of the song’s enduring charm and mystique. I don’t think anyone knows for certain. The interpretation, ultimately, remains yours to decide.

It could also have occurred exactly as is outlined in this YouTube comment, but I digress.

References

Due to That’s How I Beat Shaq’s huge and overwhelming influence on culture, politics, and general world affairs, it has been referenced and used in multiple places throughout the years.

Hey Arnold!

It has a prominent feature in the trailer of the 2002 film “Hey Arnold”. I don’t know why. Frankly, I’m not certain the people who made the trailer would know why.

Neil Cicierega

Musician and long-time creator of web things Neil Cicierega has referenced That’s How I Beat Shaq and other Aaron Carter musical releases multiple times. The two most notable occurrences being The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and Aaron.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is a 2005 song with an accompanying music video by Shawn Vulliez. Originally published on Newgrounds, it would later be re-released under Cicierega’s musical project Lemon Demon in his 2006 album Dinosaurchestra.

The song features an epic fight between a wide array of pop culture and historical figures. Towards the beginning, Shaq enters the fight to block Godzilla, who is hopping around Tokyo and has been aggravated by one of Batman’s batgrenades. Shaq opens up a can of Shaq-Fu when Aaron Carter enters the fray and beats him up. It is worth noting that they can seemingly both fly. While Aaron is beating up Shaq, they are both tragically run down by the Batmobile. Later in the video Aaron’s evidently dead body is shown bleeding out on the floor with tyre tracks around him and Shaq next to him. Shaq manages to get up, although he has a tyre mark running down the length of his body, and is then accosted by Jackie Chan, who latches onto his back. Jackie Chan manages to deflect a stray bullet shot by Batman that would have hit Shaq with his fist before leaping into the air, doing a summersault, and colliding with Abraham Lincoln. While Shaq’s death is not mentioned in the song nor explicitly shown in the music video, he presumably does not survive given Mr Rodger’s overall triumph.

Aaron is a 2015 remix of That’s How I Beat Shaq. Featuring Aaron’s vocals, much of the instrumental is original. It was released alongside a music video which is presented from the point of view of Cicierega’s wrist as it interacts with a wide array of items. At the beginning, the hand mainly interacts with a computer keyboard where it cycles through Google image results for the album cover of Aaron’s Party (Come Get It), but it later transitions to interact with all sorts of knick-knacks – most of which coming from the 90s and early 2000s and being relevant to teen interests around the time of the original song’s release.

Rematch

In a 2013 episode of Upload with Shaquille O’Neal, Shaq invites Aaron to a rematch. Shaq explains that if Aaron can manage to score a single hoop, $5000 will be donated to his charity of choice, to which Aaron explains he is playing for the “Aaron Carter needs a jet ski foundation”. Aaron, who is still dwarfed by Shaq, then proceeds not to manage a single point, losing 116 to nil.

The rematch features several callbacks and references to the song, with Shaq calling out Aaron’s blatant travelling, and Shaq quipping, “You ain’t singin’ now,” to which Aaron responds with, “It was a rap song.”

xkcd

xkcd is “a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language” that began in 2005. The 2016 strip Future Archaeology, which is a continuation of the previous comic Spider Paleontology, features references to Aaron’s triumph over Shaq.

The comics include an orb from the distant future that explains that it doesn’t know much about human history and culture and that only two written accounts have been reconstructed. One is the Bible story of Noah, and the other is “an account of how a man named Aaron Carter defeated a god named Shaq”. The characters mention that the story might have been a tad distorted by time.

As Explain xkcd details, the title text furthers the joke with the orb explaining that the only links between the two two texts they’ve identified is Aaron being the name of Moses’s brother as well and that it has assumed they are one and the same, which has led to the incorrect conclusion that Aaron’s brother parted the Red Sea, rather than Aaron’s actual brother Nick Carter, who is a member of the Backstreet Boys.

My Experience

I do not remember when I first heard the song, but I do remember when it took hold of my mind. I had awoken at an early hour of the morning in a state of delirium. 3:00 on a Thursday morning and my mind had conjured a song in my head. I could hear it echoing around my skull, yet it evaded me when I tried to focus on it.

It was as if my mind was clinging to sleep and my subconscious was taunting my conscious with 2000s teen pop.

“Boom, I put it in the hoop like slam!”

I was awake, and I could hear it. It was filling my brain. “What am I hearing?” I thought to myself as it overpowered my thought. It was the voice of Aaron.

“I swear that I’m telling you the facts”

He was telling me how he beat Shaq.

I managed to slip back into a state of slumber, but he held his place within my subconscious. When I awoke to start the day, I was compelled to listen to the song. I listened to it again as I ate breakfast. I played it again as I waited for the bus. I played it as I got to class that day. I passed it to my peers.

I played it for them. I educated them. I showed them the music video.

The song worked its way into legend within our class. Birthdays were not marred by “Happy Birthday to You,” as is tradition, but instead uplifted by Aaron’s vocal wonder. VLC’s hidden puzzle functionality meant that the video was completed many-a-time as a jigsaw, and of course I took time to make a version bass boosted beyond recognition. It became an anthem throughout a year which was otherwise a nightmare thanks to corporate mismanagement and malicious incompetence, and for that I am thankful.

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The song has stuck with me, and I hope it sticks with you. I shall leave you with this rather wonderful recreation and another one for good measure.